Why I'm Confidently Unconfident

Confidence is for people who think they have things figured out. I'll rely on God to do that, thank you.

That's what has been my problem for so long. Everywhere I turn, people have given me this trite and tired advice. Not getting traction in your career? Be more confident. No luck in your love life? Girls love confident men. Suffering from depression? Snap out of it. It's all in your head. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. But what does that really mean?

According to dictionary.com's definition and what everyone else commonly interprets it as being, confidence is "belief in oneself and one's powers and abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance". Hmm. Going by that, shouldn't all those people giving out this advice be taking it as well? How are all these gurus surrounding me unmarried, working a dead-end job, and wallowing in 10 years plus worth of mental illness?

I'll tell you why. Control. We see others in a bad situation and conclude that it is within their ability to determine the outcome. We find ourselves in that situation and discover that we can't make things go our way, no matter how hard we believe in ourselves. Then when we decide to relate our experience with another, they pass along that same little nugget of wisdom that we just used on our friend before us. And we still believe it!

We have to stop being so full of ourselves in thinking that we've got it all figured out. Confidence is a marketing tool. It's a commercial for razors and perfume. It's materialism and narcissism. It's ignorance of our limitations and ignorance of God's power. It's thinking that we can live life on our own.

I had myself convinced that if I were to live a happy and fulfilled life that everything fell on my shoulders to do it. If I wanted a career then I'd have to this. If I expect to make friends, then do that. If I want people to be attracted to me and find love then I have to do X, Y, and Z. I can't do that anymore. I never could. No matter how hard I tried, how much I did my homework, I failed. I'm a total failure.

Things aren't that much better right now, either. I'm not working as a writer. My closest friends are either far away or refuse to even talk to me. I struggle with intense anxiety. I still have no idea what in the world I'm here to do. And you want to know something? I'm at peace with it.

I took it to Christ. The turning point came on a day where I was feeling worthless. A mistake. A real piece of crap. I broke down and cried. I cried harder than I had ever cried before. And I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Then something a good friend told me earlier in the day clicked with me. "Remember the mustard seed," she told me. Even the smallest measure, the smallest gesture of faith in Christ can change things. So I would submit myself. I would admit that my attempts to do things on my own had ended in constant failure and ever-increasing heartbreak.

That day was a game-changer. I asked for healing of my mind, my depression. Over the years I had made many attempts in prayer to have my mental illness taken from me. It would always end in anger and bitterness. I had little hope that anything would come out of it this time, either. But that one small gesture of faith after being disappointed proved what my best friend said. I'm happy to say that I no longer suffer from my depression.

It's weird making that declaration. For one, I've been suffering on and off (mostly on) from depression for over twenty years. Specifically, Dysthymia. It's all I've known, so saying something to the contrary feels very alien and, admittedly, uncomfortable. And then there will be people who think that I'm crazy, which is perfectly understandable. I'm very much the same way in most instances. That I'm speaking of this openly and candidly speaks to how much it has affected me. This is not a placebo. This is Jesus. YEAH, BO-OIIIIII! HOLLAH! (Ignore these two exclamations. It's embarrassing.)

It sucks that I don't have my friends to turn to right now. I hate the fact that I still get anxious about the most trivial of things or even big things like career or marriage. Things aren't perfect and they'll never be. But I am at peace with the fact that Christ will care for me.

Maybe I'm not in the right place right now for the things that I really want to come to pass. I'll level with you when I say that that's dead obvious. My relationship with Christ needs a lot of work, stuff that I need to do on my end. If my relationship with God is in a state of disarray then how should I expect a relationship with a girl to function well? (That's to say nothing of her relationship with God, either)  If I want the responsibilities and enjoyment of a career, shouldn't I be obeying and enjoying my Savior? All this other stuff is just gravy.

We keep getting caught up in wanting to do things our way and on our terms. We'll even justify it to ourselves. We justify our apathy. Sure, on occasion, we'll do something God would want of us. But it has to be easy. Otherwise, we decide to just compromise. We'll do it half-way. We'll believe one thing but decide that the other thing, that must be wrong. We wouldn't want to inconvenience ourselves, would we? God would never ask us to do or believe something that might adversely affect us. (That's sarcasm, by the way)

We have to prepare ourselves for those moments where things won't be pleasant. They will pay off, in the long run. We may not earn our blessings, but our actions determine whether we're mature enough for them. To keep things in perspective, I pray in the morning. I ask God three things:

1.) What can I do for You?

2.) How can I live my life the way You intend it to be?

3.) How can I receive Your blessings?

It reminds me that God is greater than me, but also that He has plans for me and He wants me to participate in seeing them through. Good things. Fulfilling things.  

I say all this with the foreknowledge that I will, without fail, bollocks this up again. Repeatedly, because I'm an idiot. Hopefully, I won't do it as much as I would have had this experience never taken place.

I didn't write this to brag. I'm a rather crappy individual, so it would be something of a joke to prop me up above other people. I'm writing this to prove that Christ does heal. He does answer prayers. Maybe you're not ready and you've got some things to work out with Him first. Patience and perspective are important. You can't do life on your own.

I end this blog entry with these few words:

"Remember the mustard seed."

-L. Travis Hoffman

10/4/2014         

A Love/Hate Relationship With Myself

I was lying in my bed tonight and thinking of what I am, what I see myself to be, and what I wish I was. I was thinking about the ugliness of myself and the things that make me believe my existence to be something of benefit and worth admiration.

I like that I can feel. That I can experience emotions and embrace them and, for the most part, not be bothered by having that quality. I hate that I’m emotionally frail, that I break from the smallest of slights and collapse in on myself from outright rejection.

I admire that I’m inquisitive. I love to learn about things, sometimes to the point of absurdity. I love to share what I know. But I’m also overly analytical. I’m paranoid and insecure, constantly asking myself what my peers really think of me. I read into every little gesture, every facial expression, every word and how it is spoken.

I love creativity and artistry. I love that I write and I believe that words are beautiful and can communicate beautiful things. I love that I can sing (somewhat) and that I’m in touch with the subtleties of something as simple as a raised note and how it can make me feel closer to the musicians and composers. But I’m an arrogant and pompous ass. I retreat into my mind and cut down others’ tastes and I’m overly critical of my own attempts at artistic ventures. So often I find myself unable to complete projects and it’s frustrating.

I am a Romantic at heart and it pleases me to be such. I’m an idealist with the odd dichotomy of being, in my friend’s words, “a raging pessimist”. I like grandiose expressions of love. I’ve never stood outside a girl’s house with a boom box playing, but I’d like to do it if given the chance. When we were still together, I would write letters to my girlfriend even though I had just gotten off the phone with her after a six hour conversation. We both loved it and I miss being able to do that for her. It’s usually looked on as rather quaint and saccharine and almost always followed up by an eye roll and a snicker, which is unfortunate. There’s this opposition of putting the one you love on a pedestal, which I don’t think that I’ll ever understand. If both parties are doing it, then they’re never really on uneven footing. You love someone with the intention of enriching their lives, not focusing on your own. Still, I can look at the ridiculousness of my gestures and have a good laugh about it.

I appreciate that I’m an introspective person and not afraid to laugh at myself or admit to my mistakes and/or overall incompetence. I cope with self-deprecating humor and a shrug of the shoulders. I’m an eccentric individual and there’s not much that I can do to escape that description. I like it, though. I relate well to quirky people and find those traits to be endearing. I fear that it ends up coming off as pretentious, though, which goes back to my sense of insecurity. In my introspection I’m constantly making excuses for myself and not wanting to take responsibility in certain matters. I had put a lot of blame on my first girlfriend for our break-up. It was virtually all my fault and I really had no business taking my pain out on her. She didn’t deserve it. At times, regrettably, I’m harshly judgmental. I made that mistake recently and it made me feel like garbage. Thankfully, I’m not like that on a regular basis.

I hate not being able to simply speak and say what I’m feeling or thinking because I’m constantly stumbling and stuttering and coming across as inarticulate. I want to connect with people, but I can never seem to form or keep stable my relationships or friendships because I can’t express myself adequately enough. I find myself always afraid to voice an opinion when so often I’m put in a place where I’m surrounded by people of staunchly differing views.

But the thing I prize the most, the thing I that I could never find fault in myself, is my need to dignify and praise those around me and show them compassion. To compliment, to see and vocalize the things that make them so amazing to me but that they can’t or won’t be willing to admit to themselves. For some people, it makes them crazy and, at times, suspicious. I find joy (and, in some cases, amusement) in trying to get through their thick skulls that they are beautiful, that they mean the world to me and to others and that I wish so deeply that they could see themselves through my own eyes just so that they wouldn’t hurt or think less of themselves anymore. I cry for these people because I’ve known that pain for so long and the thought of those I care about having to bear that burden…it weighs on my heart. It’s a lonely thing and I don’t want them to be alone.

I’m not really sure why I decided to post this on here. Maybe I just needed to openly acknowledge that I have an on-going love/hate relationship with Logan T. Hoffman. He really is a great guy and a pleasant fellow that pisses me off fairly regularly. But still, he isn’t *that* bad a guy. I have a hard time admitting it, but I do believe it to be true. And hopefully one day, many others will share that sentiment.
 

Logan Travis Hoffman
3-30-2014

Movie Review: Sylvain Chomet's The Illusionist

http://www.suite101.com/content/movie-review-sylvain-chomets-the-illusionist-a339958

Movie Review: Black Swan

Psychological horror is a tough genre to pull off. Most of the time you can see the plot twist at the end from a good several miles away. For every Psycho and Silence of the Lambs you get about a million bad imitations. I'm glad to say that Black Swan is not one of those million.

Black Swan centers around Nina (Natalie Portman), a ballerina who dreams of getting the lead part in Swan Lake. After inadvertently convincing the director (Vincent Cassel) that she has the ability, she begins obsessing over the part. She pushes herself, both physically and psychologically to perfect her performance. Competing for the role is Lily (Mila Kunis), a newcomer to the company who may or may not be Nina's enemy. As these events transpire, Nina must confront her dark side and choose whether to destroy it or embrace it.

I never thought I would find myself enjoying a film about ballet, but here I am, saying it. Director Darren Aronofsky manages to craft a film that deals with obsession, duality, and repressed sexuality and not make you snooze through it or think that it's pretentious tripe. Everything is handled brilliantly. The special effects, combined with the cinematography of Matthew Libatique (note the prominence of mirrors), make for a very visceral experience.

Natalie Portman tends to get a lot of bad press from her acting in the Star Wars prequels (I'm not among those people), but she really shines in this film. Her innocence and emotional turmoil is palpable. I found myself as horrified about her transformation as she does in the film. I found her character to be similar to that of Jack Torrance in The Shining. Both are emotionally damaged people who make a gradual, downward spiral into madness. With any luck, Natalie Portman will win that Oscar for Best Actress. She's certainly earned it.

Mila Kunis surprised me the most, however. For someone who is known for doing commercial, "less serious" films,  she really shows how great of an actress she is. Lily is, in many ways, the person Nina wants to be but is also repelled by. One is outspoken, while the other is reserved. Lily is promiscuous, where Nina is sexually repressed. Yet even with these differences, the two characters are very similar in that they share duality within their selves.

With Oscar season on the horizon, this film is likely to get even more good press. Believe in it. This film is one of the best this year.

SCORE: 5 out of 5

Cinema seems to have a great divide in our culture right now; you have the artsy, overly pretentious film and then you have the heavily dumbed-down, popcorn film. My issue is this: what happened to the films in-between?

You remember them. Those movies that were well crafted, well-acted but kept you awake the entire 90 minutes because they were interesting. Movies like The Shawshank Redemption, Alien, The Godfather, Star Wars, or The Wizard of Oz. Films that were technical and creative achievements that captivated moviegoers.

Film schools have become a breeding ground for more abstract, almost Europhile, types of film. I respect that. But I also realize that abstract films are just that: abstract. People don’t want it shoved down their throats. Critics love them, us regular people don’t. Most of us have no interest in breaking down hidden subtexts or analyzing the use of lighting of a given scene. We just want to enjoy ourselves.

Then you have the other extreme: the studios. Film is a business and there’s money to be made and they’ll do their darnest to maximize a film’s appeal. Pretty faces, a popular rap artist doing the soundtrack, bright colors, big explosions, celebrity cameos. But where is the soul? In all the effort to broaden the films’ demographic, it loses any sort of identity.

Both Star Wars and The Godfather were fortunate enough to have directors that fought against the studio cheapening their work and, in the end, became commercial and critical success from doing so.

So what’s the problem, then?

The problem is not whether it’s flashy or subdued. My taste in film ranges from one extreme to the other. I got Almost Famous on one hand, and then Bram Stoker’s Dracula on the other. Polar opposites to each other! It’s all about the audience’s connection.

I can tell you with great certainty that most of the films I’ve seen this past year have left me with no sense of ownership. They didn’t feel like they belonged to me on any emotional level. And if they did, it was because it was either a sequel or an adaptation of a previous body of work where I could build a sense of ownership over time. You can only do so many remakes (Halloween and Friday the 13th), sequels (what number Saw film are we on now?), or adaptations (Twilight and A Christmas Carol) before you lose interest entirely.

Is there hope? I think so. I’ve heard good things about a couple different films that might suggest a return to middle ground. Will we see any major changes? Probably not. Not as long as we have people making Meet the Spartans a #1 hit at the box office.

My Top 10 Favorite Movies

Being a cinephile, you'd think that the subject of this entry would be an easy task for me to undertake. That couldn't be further from the truth. I love so many movies, it's insane.

The problem in picking your favorite movies for a top ten list is criteria. Are you basing it on story? Acting? Artistic merit? Entertainment value? It's contribution to film history? You could go crazy trying to narrow down your favorites using all of these as a system of grading and, more than likely, would probably end up with a list you're not happy with.

So, I've decided I would make my top ten list of my favorite movies and justify my decisions based on whatever particular characteristic(s) stands out for each film. Let us begin...

#10
A Hard Day's Night
Reason: Entertainment value, technical contribution

I'm going to go ahead and say it: The Beatles are the best rock band ever. Bar none. You can argue with me until you're every shade of color imaginable, but you're not going to change my mind. They are also probably the most entertaining musicians to have ever transitioned to the big screen. Ever since I got into The Beatles I've had a man-crush on them, and this film solidified it. They're so witty, so charming, and so talented. It's one of the biggest reasons my interest in music became rekindled. I want to be just like them.

I'd be remiss if I didn't explain how influential this film was, stylistically speaking. The musical sequences are shot in a style that predicted the aesthetic of MTV music videos. So the David Finchers and Spike Jonzes of the world owe director Richard Lester something.

#9
Apocalypse Now
Reason: Story/Themes, Acting

Let me stress that the version of Apocalypse Now I'm referring to is the original release, not the Redux version. The latter is a bloated, meandering mess of a director's cut that should be avoided if you want to enjoy the film.

That out of the way, this film has some great writing. Based on Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness, Apocalypse Now follows a seasoned captain who's assigned to kill an insane colonel gone rogue. While this description suggests that the film is a by-the-numbers actioner, it's far more complicated than that. As we follow Captain Willard (Martin Sheen) on his mission, we delve further into man's dark, animalistic side. Once Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando) arrives on the scene, we're left questioning whether this insane man is merely in touch with man's true nature.

The acting is the best I've ever seen from Sheen and Brando. Honorable mention goes to Robert Duvall, who delivers the film's most iconic line as well as giving a performance that I can't quite decide is intentionally funny. It doesn't hurt that the script is written by John Milius and Francis Ford Coppola, two screenwriters who are well-known for their exceptional dialogue and characterization.

Bottom line... if you want to watch a film with a great script and great actors, this should be at the top of your Netflix queue.

#8
Almost Famous
Reason: Soundtrack, Script, Acting

Anyone who knows me well can probably recall at some point me losing my cinematic virginity to Almost Famous. I'm dead serious when I make that claim. So much of my personality originates from watching this film. My love of classic rock, my interest in hippie culture, my desire to become a screenwriter... I could go on, but you get the idea.

"So what's so great about the film?" you ask.

I will tell you the one thing that makes this film one of the best in the decade, and that's the actors. To start, you have (at the time) newcomer Patrick Fugit in the lead character of William Miller, who you can't help but root for in his pursuit of credibility as a writer. Next is poster-girl, Kate Hudson, who steals every scene she's in as the captivating rock disciple, Penny Lane. Playing her love interest and the "guitarist with mystique", Russell Hammond, is Billy Crudup. Rounding out the great cast is Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jason Lee, who play William's mentor and Russell's band mate, respectively.

For the first two years I watched this, I couldn't help but re-watch scenes numerous times after viewing the film. The characters are so likable and their lines are so memorable. Among my favorite scenes are William and Penny's exchange regarding their "true" ages, the sing-along to Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" aboard the tour bus, and the ending montage showing each main character's fate.

But I can't end here without mentioning the music. I recall a reviewer stating that this soundtrack was "better than sex". Being a virgin I can't really vouch for that, but I have a feeling it's pretty darn close to being true. Some of the greatest rockers from the 70's can be found here: Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, The Who, and many others. Do yourself a favor and buy the soundtrack.

So if you're looking for a fun film with a great soundtrack to escape to for an hour a half, Almost Famous  is most definitely the way to go.

#7
The Empire Strikes Back
Reason: Story/Script, Technical Contributions

The Empire Strikes Back is the sequel that all sequels aspire to be. It has great drama, riveting action, and an artistic direction that far surpasses its predecessor.

I don't know how he did it, but the recently-deceased Irvin Kershner managed to pull every ounce of talent from the cast and crew when he directed this picture. Empire has the best acting, dialogue, and action of all six Star Wars  films. But let's break down what it is about each of these things that make it the best in the series.

Let's focus on the acting and dialogue, first off. As anyone knows, Star Wars  fan or not, the series is not known particularly for its great dialogue or performances. Whatever credit the films do get usually goes to Harrison Ford, who's brilliant in his three films.  But Empire is different, you see. The script is more down-to-earth, less clunky in execution. This, in turn, allows the actors to put out more genuine performances and not worry about venturing into melodramatic territory. Which leads into my next point.

What makes the action so great in The Empire Strikes Back is not the special effects (although they are quite impressive), but the sense of jeopardy the characters are in. This film is very ambiguous in regards to who may live and who may die. The Rebellion barely escapes their base. Han Solo is betrayed by one of his friends,  tortured and later left to an unknown fate. Luke is broken and battered, both physically and emotionally, by his worst enemy. Needless to say, Empire rose the stakes quite a bit from Star Wars.

Chances are if you've ever seen a movie in your life, you've seen the Star Wars Trilogy. If you haven't, you've done yourself a great disservice. Go rent it, watch it, and join the human race.

#6
Edward Scissorhands
Reason: Score, Production design, Casting... (I could go on forever)

THIS MOVIE IS NOT EMO.

There... now that I got that out of my system, onto the task at hand. Edward Scissorhands is by far Tim Burton's best (and probably one of his most personal) films that he's put out in his career. This film guaranteed my interest in Burton as a director, Johnny Depp as an actor, and Winona Ryder as a beauty to worship. Nothing, save for perhaps Ed Wood, can touch it in its brilliance.

Johnny Depp, as the title role, really allows us to empathize and does it so effectively without speaking or whining for 90 minutes. In fact, he barely has any dialogue in the film. Everything from the first time he sees Kim (Winona Ryder), to the memory of his father (Vincent Price) dying, to his finally having to say goodbye, is emoted wonderfully and heightened by Danny Elfman's score.

And speaking of Danny Elfman, this is without a doubt his best film score. I heard the score before I even watched this film and it almost moved me to tears. The fact that he can capture the film's emotions with something as simple as a sigh from the choir says something of his artistic ability.

Another element adding to the tone of the film is Bo Welch's eccentric production design. The angular shapes that allow for creative use of shadows was almost definitely borrowed from Robert Wiene's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and effectively so. Stan Winston's design of Edward is also worthy of mention, managing to balance monstrous with beautiful in a way few can do.

Edward Scissorhands is a beautifully crafted film. It rose the bar high for Tim Burton (as well as Danny Elfman) and, unfortunately, he hasn't been able to quite reach the same heights again. But I'm still holding out for it.

#5
The Shining
Reason: Photography, Acting, Atmosphere, Score

The Shining is one of those movies that I won't watch more than once per year. Why? Because I like the idea of a movie disturbing me and I hate the idea of becoming desensitized to it over too many viewings. This movie, along with Alien, Black Christmas, Suspiria, and The Thing, are among the few that actually really give me the creeps.

Stanley Kubrick honestly should have made another horror film, because he made this one masterfully. Can you imagine what it would be like if they hired him to do a Friday the 13th or A Nightmare On Elm Street  film? It would be like the greatest slasher ever made! But, alas, we have this one great gem to view.

This film oozes atmosphere. Wendy Carlos' synthesized score, combined with John Alcott's strangely-centered photography, really makes the film what it is. Kubrick definitely knew how to push his crew to perfection.

And speaking of which, this film is legendary for torturing the actors with numerous takes (some reportedly into the triple digit range) just to get the right performances out of the actors. Kubrick managed to get Scatman Crothers to break down into tears he was so demanding. However many takes he did, be it 10 or 110, the acting works. Jack Nicholson's metamorphosis from a guilt-filled alcoholic to crazed caretaker is done gradually and to great effect. Shelley Duvall, who I normally don't care for as an actress, is pushed to her absolute limits as the fragile Wendy Torrence. And Danny Lloyd, who plays Danny, is one of the few child actors that doesn't make me throw up out of exasperation. He plays a little boy, but never goes into "you got it, Dude" territory.

So if you're ever bored on a winter night, turn off the lights and pop in The Shining. I think you'll enjoy it.

#4
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Reason: Special Effects, Score, Costume Design, Casting

My curiosity into this film stretches way back to age six, about five years before finally even getting to see it, albeit edited, on TBS on a Saturday night. I can remember seeing the previews and thinking it looked awesome and I really wanted to see it. But my mom, rightfully so, told me I was too young. Fast forward several years and a couple of secret rentals later, and I'm still in love with it. This, along with Apocalypse Now, is Francis Ford Coppola's most interesting and experimental film in his career.

With regard to his experimentation, Coppola decided to rely on "naive" special effects as opposed to using the then up-and-coming CGI. He used old techniques going as far back as to the genesis of spectacle film making. This is one of the elements of the film that make it stand out among other vampire movies made in the last 20-30 years. Lots of use of forced perspective, shadow-play, and filming actors in reverse are to be found here, and it looks as great as it did in 1992.

Complimenting the special effects are the art direction and costume design, with Eiko Ishioka providing her talents on the latter. Everything from the Count's kabuki-like attire, to the design of the castle interior is done with such reverence to the art and cinema of old.

But what are the costumes and sets without the actors? Admittedly some of the casting here is questionable (Keanu Reeves as a Briton?) but Gary Oldman is perfect as Dracula, burying himself in the make-up and the part. If Christopher Lee is my favorite person to play the Count, Oldman comes in a pretty close second. Starring opposite of him is Winona Ryder as Mina, a woman torn between her loyalty to her fiance and the memories of a past life. The chemistry here is undeniable, even if it wasn't shared behind the scenes (Oldman, allegedly, gave her the creeps).

Last, but certainly not least, is the rich score provided by Polish composer, Wojciech Kilar. How this score didn't get nominated for an Oscar is beyond me, because it's absolutely beautiful. Kilar makes the transition from brooding and foreboding, to romantic and tragic look like a cake walk.

If you feel that vampire films have gone down the wrong path, as I do, then Bram Stoker's Dracula is a good trip down memory lane. Heck, even if you think it's going down the right path I would still recommend the film. If for nothing else, watch it for the music and rich production values.

#3
Alien
Reason: Acting, Atmosphere, Art direction

The Alien franchise has had its ups and downs over the years. The unfortunate thing is that down seems to be the place the series prefers to stay. None of the sequels have managed to top the original in atmosphere and overall creepiness.

The film features actors known mostly for supporting roles, which allows for more real acting. These characters seem like real people as a result. You never find a scene where a character is shoehorned in because of an actor's demands. Director Ridley Scott has frequently referred to the characters as being "truckers in space", which I feel is an accurate description. They dress casually, they curse, they argue over wages, and they tell dirty jokes. Everyone projects a blue collar feel and really allows you to relate to them.

The atmosphere is cold and mysterious, a sort of psycho-sexual version of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Space is something to be feared and the unknown is to be feared even greater. Swiss surrealist H.R. Giger designed much of the film's most iconic images, which are a blend of biomechanical and subtly (sometimes blatantly)  sexual. Since the film's release, many have tried to imitate Giger's art style, but no one has yet to trump him.

Alien is one of the great SF/Horror films out there. As depressing as it is to see the series going downhill, it's nice to have this movie to look back on. With Ridley Scott returning to direct a prequel, hopefully the franchise will reach the heights it had in the 70s and 80s.

#2
Akira
Reason: Storyline, Animation, Score

Akira was (and still is) a huge contribution to my interest in film making. If I had never seen it, I most likely would never have seen Blade Runner, which means I would probably never look into David Lynch, Stanley Kubrick, and many others. The film caused a huge splash in my life, to which I'm eternally grateful.

The film concerns a biker gang, led by wise-guy Kaneda, who begins the film with a race through the streets of Neo Tokyo, fighting off the rival biker gang called The Clowns. During the fight, his childhood friend, Tetsuo, ends up in an accident and is taken away by the military. When he manages to escape the military hospital, there's been a significant change in him. Latent mental abilities emerge at a frightening rate, leading Tetsuo to lash out at everyone around him.

That's just to whet your appetite. The film is not nearly as straight forward as the description may suggest, which is what makes it for such compelling viewing. The audience is posed with many philosophical questions regarding government, rebellion, and metaphysics. If you can't tell by now, Akira requires multiple viewings if you want to appreciate the film in its entirety.

Many people reading this will immediately be turned off that it is an animated feature from Japan, but you would be denying yourself a great movie experience in doing that. Unlike a great number of other anime, Akira is drawn in a more realistic style than some of its Japanese brethren. The visuals are absolutely stunning. If you aren't sold on the film when you see Neo Tokyo for the first time, then go back to SpongeBob. He'll be waiting with the other horrible cartoons America has been putting out lately.

Akira is not only a great animated film, it's a great film, period. The story and visuals draw you in and leave you wanting the movie to go on for another 90 minutes. If you're looking to ease yourself into viewing Japanese animation and cinema, I would recommend using this as a starting point. You won't regret it.

#1
Blade Runner
Reason: Art direction, Special effects, Script, Acting, Score

Blade Runner is by far the best in its genre. No other film dealing with genetic engineering or robotics has been able to touch its level of artistry and depth. And unlike many other science fiction films, this one seems more relevant now than it did in 1982. World pollution, corporate take overs, multi-ethnic assimilation, endangered animals... these are pretty big topics in today's news and they're all found in Blade Runner.

The film centers on Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), a retired Blade Runner (which is like a bounty hunter of biorobotic replicants) who is brought back for one last job. As he comes into contact with his prey, he realizes just how human they are and how monstrous he's become. It's a great film about man discovering his identity and it has a great twist at the end.

Syd Mead, with some contributions by director Ridley Scott, crafted some of the most amazingly beautiful landscapes and technology to ever grace the silver screen, such as the Tyrell pyramid and the Police Spinners. Tying in with the art direction are the special effects by Douglas Trumbull, who also did work on 2001: A Space Odyssey and Star Trek: The Motion Picture. For being a film that's over 20 years old, neither the art or the effects have dated much.

Like Scott's previous film, Alien, the cast (with the exception of Harrison Ford) is filled with actors known more for doing supporting roles. Ford's cynical, brooding, portrayal of Deckard is a stark contrast from many of his other roles, which makes his transformation throughout the film that much more satisfying. Dutch actor Rutger Hauer plays the charming, but wily antagonist, Roy Batty. Like Deckard, Roy has an interesting transformation at the end, punctuated by a beautiful monologue improvised by the actor. I could go over every actor and character in the film, but that would take forever. Suffice it to say that each actor brings something great to the table.

Vangelis, having won an Academy Award for his score on Chariots of Fire a year before, wows you with his beautiful electronic music. The pieces used in the opening and ending credits are probably my favorite, as they really set the tone of the film. The movie itself is tech-noir, and Vangelis adds to the atmosphere of smoke and shadows with an occasional saxophone coming in now and then. It's also down right spooky at times, with strange singing and the use of chimes to highlight the mysterious portions of the film.

Blade Runner was a film truly ahead of its time. It took 10 years for the cinema elite to learn that, and thankfully they've learned to embrace it. It was bold and edgy, violent and romantic, thoughtful and entertaining. It captured my imagination and continues to inspire me as a screenwriter.

Movie Review: Youth in Revolt

I'm going to come out and say it... I love Michael Cera. I think he's funny and very entertaining to watch. I find myself relating to his "little guy" persona with each film I see him in. But I do agree with many of his critics in that he doesn't really change with each role he takes. He is essentially a one-trick pony. Which is what surprised me when he seemed to be trying to expand his range with Youth in Revolt.

Cera plays Nick Twisp, a law-abiding pushover that fears he will die a virgin. When he temporarily vacates his home and moves to a trailer park, he eventually encounters Sheeni (Portia Doubleday), a girl with an affinity for big band music. From there a romance blossoms but is quickly cut short when Nick's mother decides to move back home. Not wanting to be separated from the one girl who has loved him back, Nick devises a plot to get kicked out of his house and reunite with Sheeni. But in order to put aside his conscience, he creates an alternate personality in Francois, a suave rebel with a taste for destruction. Once Francois takes the lead, trouble starts.

This film has a lot of neat things going for it. To start, we are treated with a cleverly animated sequence during the opening credits, with several more peppered in to move the story along in a more stimulating manner.

Next comes the cast, which has a lot of familiar faces. Zach Galifianakis, though only in the film for a brief time, manages to be funny without even really trying. Fred Willard, Ray Liotta, and Steve Buscemi all do great in supporting roles without it seeming like a bunch of glorified cameos.

But the real credit goes to Cera, who (as stated earlier) does a good job morphing into the Id-like Francois. His voice, mannerisms, and body language change considerably and he does a great job at being an A-grade jerk.

Portia Doubleday, whom I've never seen in a film before, has great chemistry with Cera and holds her own in the solo scenes. Her switch from innocent girl to teen temptress and back looks effortless. She really makes you understand why Cera's character will jump through hoops to be with her.

The screenplay, written by Gustin Nash and adapted from the novel by C.D. Payne, delivers on the dark humor and adds in some elements of surrealism that really make the film more interesting. The dialogue, particularly from Sheeni's parents, is quite funny and I'm sure I'll find myself quoting it for the next few weeks.

Youth in Revolt is nice departure from the typical sex-comedies you see in the cinema. The absurd imagery and black humor, along with Cera's performance as Francois, make this arguably the best film he's done yet.

SCORE: 4 and 1/2 out of 5